I'm here, I'm queer, and I don't want any more bears!

So... I'm having a little break down. 

I don't even remember the last weight I posted but I'm at 243 right now. Not so happy with this. 

I am taking this nutrition class right now and I am surprised at how much I am learning. I thought I pretty much knew it all. But there are some changes that I have made because I have been so concerned with the calorie number and not thinking about the value of the food. I switched all grains to whole grain when at all possible. The carbs may be the same but because of the added fiber and non processed wheat grain it takes your body 3 times as long to break down the carbs into sugar, therefore avoiding the SPIKE in blood sugar that causes your pancreas to go on an insulin roller coaster. Also making sure the oils you use for cooking and what not have mostly polyunsaturated fats. These are: Best: Safflower, Canola Better: Flaxseed, Walnut, Sunflower and Good: Olive, Peanut (for high heat). Worst: Coconut, Butter, Lard. If you want to check your oils, look for the ones with he highest polyunsaturated fats. These actually help lower bad cholesterol. So these are just a few things that I am changing. So that's good. But about that mental break down...

I started taking Phentermine last week. Susie had great success early and my doctor said it was fine so I am trying it. I have only lost 1 lb. I walk a lot. I would say about 2 hours a week. I still can not run very far with out giving myself a migraine. So I thought of a solution. I have been wanting a bike for a long time. I don't want to have to drive my car any place that I could ride a bike. I figure it will save me money and be healthy. So the first chance I got, I rode my bike to the gym and back (about 6 mi) and did a 30min elliptical work out. My legs were wobbly and tired but I didn't think I was breathing exceptionally hard. I felt great then that night about 10pm I got the most excruciating migraine of my life. I couldn't sleep even after taking a vicoden and a sleeping pill. I couldn't lay down because my pillow felt like it was a baseball bat smacking me in the skull. I sat on my couch writhing in pain for 18 hours. I wasted an entire day and at the end of it I was so exhausted that I had to sleep forever. So goodbye Thursday I missed you completely! Is that what I get for riding my bike?... For trying to be healthy? I know I sound like a broken record but I feel hopeless and sad.  

I don't feel like giving up. But I sure wish I knew what to do next.