My story... If you're interested.

I was always concerned about how much bigger I was than all my friends ever since 3rd grade. I always tried to exercise, too. I remember Coleen and me would go running late at night when she would get home from Toys R Us or Home Place and freak our selves out. I was always trying SOMETHING to loose weight. When I was a Junior in high school I went to a motivational speaker thing about some girl who had anorexia. She told us and awful story and how no one should do this to themselves, but all I could think about was how beautiful she was and how much I longed to be beautiful like her and all my friends. So I stopped eating. I stopped eating lunch with my friends and sat with Susie and her friends instead. I ate a roll and an orange every day and that's all. I lost weight. The boy I wanted attention from gave me attention. I got lots of compliments. Uncle Steve said "You're starting to look like your cousins, don't get too skinny." I thought it was great. But I thought I was SO ugly. And I couldn't keep it up forever... When I started eating again I gained every single lb back and more.

This photo is of me and my friends on graduation day.

After high school I moved in with my best girls for the best and worst 2 years of my teenage life. I was having so much fun, and on the outside I appeared happy. But I was so depressed and unhappy with the way I looked. I was constantly being compared to these gorgeous girls everywhere we went. I felt like the grenade all the time. I stopped eating. This time for almost a year... The result was not pretty. Maybe I was pretty on the outside, but not for me on the inside. I hated the way I looked and I felt morbidly obese. I never wore a bathing suit in public and covered up as much as possible. My hair fell out in clumps, you could see my scalp like a cancer patient. I was constantly dizzy. I was so fearful I would faint while I was driving that I would drink a soda right before I left school so I could get home. It was not good. And I couldn't do it forever...

This is me when I was 19. I was in Rocky Pt. I would not wear a bathing suit, even though it was so hot, I wore a tank top and pants. (We were taking a picture of the blue bikini)

...This is the result of me starving myself and then eating food. (below) I was so sad.

This picture was taken less than a year after the one above.

Even though I swore I would never put myself through that again, years later and many heartaches later... I was so unhappy with my body, AGAIN. I felt discouraged and sad and lonely. I stopped eating, again. This time for about 2 months.

This is in 2005. The last time I starved myself for a LONG period of time.

Of coarse history repeated itself and I gained the weight back, plus plus. But I have been through a lot emotionally and spiritually since then. I know who I am and that I need to treat my body as a temple. That includes making healthy choices, not just "don't stop eating".

Part of my change, of coarse, has been finding my loving supporting husband Donald. He treats me like I am the most beautiful woman to ever live. And he really believes that! It's hard for me to doubt myself when I've got him telling me that every day. I know I am beautiful. I still long to be that thin girl, but I have different reasons for that now.

This is the 2010 model of Shannon. I know I've changed a lot over the last 10 years. But I'm ready for a new and FINAL change.

My desire to loose weight this year is not to look prettier than my roommates or to boost my self image. I want to be healthy. I want to feel comfortable in my skin. I want to run with my husband. I want to have more energy. I want to have easier pregnancies(someday). I want to do active things just as good as anyone else: snowboarding, wake boarding, hiking, etc. I want to make my husband proud of me.